THE TRUTH ABOUT LIFE COACHING
You may have heard someone talk about coaching or refer to their coach, but what does that mean? What is coaching and who will benefit from it?
Define Coaching:
There is a very wide variety of beliefs about what coaching is and what it looks like. You can Google ‘coaching’ and find pretty much anything you are looking for. There are many schools and bodies that provide certifications for coaching. Of these, the International Coach Federation (ICF) is the most recognized and carries global recognition. This organization provides a code of ethics and certification standards that all members adhere to in order to maintain licensure. On their website the ICF defines coaching as follows: “ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” (https://coachfederation.org/about). For the purpose of this article we will use this definition.
Coaching Explained:
I find often that there is a big misconception on what coaching is, and what coaching isn’t. Some think it has to do with baseball. That is another article entirely for another day. If you aren’t looking for baseball coaching, then please proceed. I think most commonly I find that people think that a coach is someone you go to in order to get the answers to all your problems. I would love to find someone who is so brilliant and experienced in handling life, they have all the answers for mine. Does that even exist? Let me ask you this, what if through your own hard work and insightfulness YOU were able to become the expert on your own life? What if YOU had all the answers? Guess what? YOU DO. How do I know? Because I found it out myself. I did it, you can too. So that brings me to the kind of coaching I think everyone should have but maybe doesn’t know exists. This is the stuff that real dreams are made of. Here’s the problem…coaching is such a magical process I have a really hard time putting into words how powerfully transformative, empowering, and freeing it is. It’s the good stuff. Here’s my experience. I have a problem. I’m not sure what to do about it. I call up my coach. They ask me about what I want, what’s happening and where I want to be. Then they ask me questions, sometimes they don’t make sense to me, sometimes they make me think, sometimes they challenge everything I ever thought I knew. Now I don’t know what’s happening, but I suddenly see things differently. A previously hopeless situation has now become manageable. We discuss ideas and methods to reach that end goal. Life starts moving forward and suddenly everything looks a bit clearer. I feel lighter and more confident about myself and my dreams. This happens for me pretty much every time I am coached. I walk in the door one person and 3 to 6 months later I am a completely different person. I am now living my life, doing what I love and passing on this wonderful gift that was given to me.
Coaching vs Therapy:
So, this is another one of my favorite topics. I have no shame in admitting I have done both, so I feel qualified to compare. Coaching is not therapy. It is not and should not be used in substitution for therapy. Therapy is designed and backed by extensive research to assist in treating and healing traumatic events, depression, addiction, PTSD, and so much more. If you think you may have these things and they are negatively contributing to your life, then you should 100% see a therapist and get a professional evaluation. The simplest way to describe the difference is that therapy is a method that deals with that past. It is meant to help heal past wounds and issues that are deep and pervasive in the mind. Coaching is meant to deal with the future. It is forward moving and does so with the belief that the client is whole and complete and ready to move forward. Here are some examples, in my opinion, of what kind of ideas would be appropriate for therapy vs coaching:
| Therapy | Coaching |
| I am depressed all the time and can’t get out of bed. Life just isn’t enjoyable anymore. | I’m feeling discouraged with my life and where things are at. I would like to improve it but don’t know where to start. |
| I have always had a bad relationship with my father. He has always been super critical of me and I just can’t seem to make him happy. | I’m struggling in my relationship with my father. I love him but I am having a hard time communicating with him. I just want things to improve but I’m not sure what to do. |
| God hates me and I just don’t see the point in doing all these things that they say I should do. I shouldn’t bother anymore. | I know God but I don’t understand him. I would like to understand Him better but I’m not sure how. |
| I can’t stop drinking, my life is falling apart, I want to stop, but I cannot do it on my own. | I want to limit or change my drinking to improve my quality of life. OR I have stopped drinking and am finding it difficult to adapt to this new life. I would like to find ways to be more comfortable. |
You will notice that all the therapy statements are very definitive. They really should be investigated further and carry a very strong negative impact on the person’s life. These are topics for individuals professionally trained in psychology. All the coaching themes, while they also carry a negative impact, are not as severely limiting. They all are forward moving statements that suggest the client is ready and seeking change and growth and development.
While there are major differences between the two, there are also some similarities. Both modalities are designed to get you out of the rut you are stuck in and get you moving forward. Both can lead to immense growth and personal development. Both can be extremely empowering.
Ultimately the decision is yours to decide what will work best for you. A good coach (unless they are holding certifications in both modalities) will refer you out if they are feeling like therapy is the better option for you.
Choosing a Coach:
Maybe you are thinking that coaching might be a good choice for you. If that is the case, then congratulations on taking the first step in your journey! Now you now need to choose a coach.
As in many other fields, there are a wide variety of coaching modalities, coaching methods, and coach personalities. You will get the best results working with someone who is relatable and who you can connect with. Coaching is very versatile and is often conducted via phone or video conference. Because of this, you can work with a coach anywhere in the world! Many coaches offer an introductory session that will allow you the opportunity to determine if you are a good fit for each other. Remember, you are investing in yourself so feel free to ask questions and find what works best for you!
About Me:
My name is Lori and I am a Professional Coach. I feel I have been called to this profession and would like to spend my life helping others navigate through those times that have been the most painful in my life. My life experience includes addiction, unhealthy/abusive relationships, low self-esteem, chronic health issues, corporate jobs, boundary setting, self-love, the quest for spiritual fulfillment, and more. Despite the challenges I have faced in life, I have come through and identified my purpose as being here and present for you today. I have a strong faith and belief that when we are acting in alignment with our true selves that the universe and God will provide us what we need. I would be honored to walk with you on this journey called life!
I have completed a program at The Institute for Life Coach Training (ILCT) and am a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
I am in The EST time zone but have the capability of coaching anywhere in the country, as all my sessions are conducted via phone.
If you have any additional questions or want more information, please feel free to CONTACT ME HERE